The past two summers, we have made special appearances at the Little Boots Rodeo, run by “Cowboy Jack” (a man who wears a ten gallon hat, but only has a two gallon head)- in Elk Grove Village- a fun family event that lets kids play cowboy (or girl!) and try out rodeo events, as well as enjoy rides, races, animals, check out the wares and crafts of various vendors, and so much more. Every year- there has been some sort of challenge issued between myself and Mayor Craig Johnson of Elk Grove Village.
One year, it was a “bull-riding” contest with mechanical bulls- I was seated on a kiddie-sized steer, and the outcome was pretty hazy, with the event almost declared a draw- but then given to the Mayor. Last summer, the challenge involved duck races- both the Mayor and I each had a live duck, and we turned them loose to see which would swim to the other side of the aquatic “race course” first! Perhaps my familiarity with fowl, due to my years of exposure to rubber chickens, helped- but, regardless, my duck got there first!(Although the Mayor has disputed that, saying I let my duck go early…really? Really?)
Well, it’s time for the Little Boots Rodeo again this weekend-and I want to see this “challenge” business settled once and for all. So, last night, I made my way to the Elk Grove Village city council meeting, and asked to address the council. After a thorough security check ( at least they didn’t confiscate my rubber chicken!), I was allowed to enter and speak to the attendees.
I explained that I would be appearing this weekend at the rodeo, from 1 to 3 pm on both Saturday and Sunday, and encouraged everyone to come out and enjoy the rodeo and come by to say hello- and then issued this year’s deathless challenge, in only two words: PIG RACE!!!
Yes, nothing is more streamlined than a porcine racer, so, I issued a challenge to the Mayor- we would face each other in a pig race- each of us will have a pig assigned to us, and whoever has the pig that crosses the finish line first- would be declared the winner of the challenge.
The mayor accepted the challenge on behalf of Elk Grove Village- and then, he added an additional caveat – that whoever loses the race would be SAWED IN HALF by magician Mr. D !!! And so- this challenge will take place on Saturday at around 1 pm at the Little Boots Rodeo- after which, if I am still in one piece, I’ll be signing autographs, posing for pictures with you, and, yes, we WILL have a limited number of Sven t-shirts and button sets for sale! Then, I’ll return on Sunday, again, from 1 to 3 pm.
The rodeo is always a lot of fun for everyone- kids can register to participate in twelve events that will get them “certified” as a true cowboy or cowgirl- there’s a train, a petting zoo, an amazing “Bullet Man” who will be shot out of a cannon (no, yours truly will NOT become a human projectile),wagon, pony, and camel rides, face painting, refreshments, and lots of vendor stands with crafts and unique items. The rodeo takes place both days from noon to 5 pm at the intersection of Arlington Heights Road and Devon Avenue in Elk Grove Village. A donation of one canned food item is requested to help fill the Elk Grove Township food pantries.
Come on out with your friends and family- meet me from 1 to 3 pm both days- and- see who ends up victorious in the big pig race (…why do they keep asking I have a favorite brand of saw blade?)