With the forecasters readying us for 100 degree temperatures tomorrow, I’ve appreciated the ideas from you folks regarding coming up with a hot weather outdoors Sven outfit.Suggestions have ranged from a specific costume for specific events- i.e., a cooler Sven cowboy outfit for a Little Boots Rodeo (no, not chaps-knock it off!) to general cooler attire- like supplanting the tuxedo jacket with a cape. Keep ’em coming… I still worry that people want Sven to look just like he does on the tube, but, as a few kind souls have said, maybe they don’t mind if I look different if it means I’ll be more comnfortable.
Regardless- the heat will be on for several days,even if I don’t have another appearance until a week from this Friday, and we all need to take care of ourselves during the heat wave.
How would the famous monsters handle this? Well, most vampires would probably avoid the sun- as usual- but such hot daytime temps will keep the nights just as steamy- so, the key for Count Dracula and his ilk is -to hydrate! They tend to do that anyway- but never before has the phrase “in cold blood” been more inviting.Maybe they could also exchange the coffin they sleep in for a freezer chest- just take out all the food , especially the steaks (yeah, that’s a bad joke…)
The Frankenstein Monster might intone “Fire- bad…humidity-WORSE!!!” He could probably use some of his excess electrical life-force to power a window air conditioner, or, at least, a portable fan.Hanging out in those catacombs beneath the old castle ruins-as we saw in “House of Frankenstein”- where there is probably still some ice- certainly would keep him in cold comfort.
Ah, what about the Wolf Man? Like his canine brothers, would he have to pant to keep cool? A body-wide crew cut might help lower his temperature, but would make him look much more hilarious than horrible.
Okay, the Mummy is -possibly- in better shape, providing his wrappings are of a lightweight fabric, though being completely wrapped in anything can’t be the coolest of outfits.An abbreviated two-piece wrap might be cooler- but…do we WANT to see that centuries old skin? (The exception might be the mummy from our “Tomb-Digger” music video!)Seeing Kharis’ bare legs, though, might just be more than even the staunchest archeologist could stand. Maybe his current handler/high priest could help him out- when he brews that tanna leaf tea- why not make it an ICED tea?…then again, what am I talking about? He’s usually shuffling around the Egyptian desert! He’s USED to heat!
The Incredible Shrinking Man could lounge on one of those plastic deals filled with blue water that you keep in the freezer to cool food you’re bringing somewhere. I’d guess he’d have to avoid most fans- it’d be like fighting tornado-like winds!
The obvious winners in all this- the Creature from the Black Lagoon, who can submerge himself in the lower, cooler depths of some body of water (though it won’t be as easy for him to tickle the toes of some swimming lass who’s up near the surface)-and- of course- the Invisible Man. He’s already running around sans clothing- you can’t get cooler than that.I do have a few questions about him, though- if he spends too much time out in the sun- would he get a tan, and would that make him visible? Can he get a sunburn? If he puts on some high SPF lotion, would it look like the greasy outline of a man?
Am I over-thinking this whole thing? Perhaps my energy is better spent thinking nice cool thoughts- let’s see- I’m up north, where the Deadly Mantis has just thawed out of the ice…